He says that he had never before seen or heard of a skateboard when he put a plank on skate wheels. Of course, his invention went no further than a backyard of summer fun, but he still likes to claim his invention when some youth sails by on a long board.
Well, now I feel his pain.Ā James Patterson, Mr. Prolific himself, is in the process of releasing what heās calling āBook Shotsā ā novella length works, penned with co-authors, that cost less than five dollars.
You have no idea how annoyed this makes me.
Because it was MY idea.Ā This month Iām releasing Wild Waters, a novella length paranormal romance (sex scenes!) story.Ā The genre is outside of my usual brand, but I thought the structure and topic were interesting (reporters, SEALs, Vietnam!). I also thought my readers might enjoy something at a lower price point, but in my style of writing.Ā I examined the options.Ā I had the thoughts. Ā I came up with the plan.
And then James Patterson stole it out of my brain!Ā How dare he use his larger amounts of money, time and fame to launch my idea!Ā It makes me want to march right over to his house and give him a toddler.Ā Letās see how fast he can type then.Ā Toddlers should be like weights for jockeys.Ā If Vegas gambled on writerās turning in manuscripts on time, Iām sure that they would have developed some sort of toddler distribution system by now. Ā Fortunately, for Mr. Patterson and for me, thereās plenty of room in this world for novellaās and writers of all kinds, with or without toddlers. Good luck to both of us with our tiny books.
Originally Published atĀ the Stiletto Gang on 06.08.16
https://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/WildWaters_600x960-opt1.jpg960600Bethany Maineshttps://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Aug2016-Logo-op3-300x69.pngBethany Maines2016-06-09 22:59:052016-06-07 23:03:08My Toddler Works for James Patterson
Late in the month, it seems like almost everyone suddenly wakes up and realizes that the deadlines that seemed so very far away are now, like, almost here, man.Ā Cue panic.Ā Cue sudden uptick in workload for yours truly.Ā The problem is that Iām exactly like everyone else.Ā Iāve been noodling over several pieces of writing and now the deadline is like, almost here, man!
Now is when the marathon of writing becomes a sprint. Just how fast can fingers type?Ā Weāre about to find out.
Now is also about the time when back pain and carpal tunnel set in.Ā Time to start juicing writers!Ā No, I mean literal juicing.Ā Itās important to stay hydrated ā prevents muscle spasms.Ā Although, I personally prefer copious amounts of tea, liberally applied, at regular intervals.
Now is the time when the tiny proto-human youāve been carefully nurturing like a hot house bloom looks up from a coloring book and says, āSorry mom, work. Four more minutes.āĀ Gee, wonder where she got that?
Now is the time that my face looks like this:
So wish me luck as I sprint to the end of the month.Ā And wish my family luck as they get abandoned for fake people that I made up.
Originally published on the Stiletto Gang 05.25.16
https://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/minion-stress.jpg638640Bethany Maineshttps://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Aug2016-Logo-op3-300x69.pngBethany Maines2016-05-26 08:03:342016-05-24 19:07:42Now is the time…
Originally published at the Stiletto Gang on 05.11.16
Iām going to let you in on a secret ā writing is not for wussies. Itās for old people.
Or at least it makes you feel old. Carpal tunnel. Eye twitches and strains. Aching neck, sore back. The human body was not designed to spend hours sitting at a computer, and the hours compound into stiff muscles that have forgotten how to move. Walking into the kitchen after a prolonged bout of editing, I look like I’ve escaped from the neighborhood old-person jail… er… assisted living facility. I imagine that back when writers were churning out novels by quill and candlelight that it wasnāt any better. But at least back then we were likely to die by forty anyway and probably needed to worry more about childbirth and dental hygiene than whether or not our wrists were a tad achy.
I could trot out some line about suffering for my art, but the truth is, I do many things to combat the muscular stress of sitting and writing. First of all, I got married and had a kid. Although, maybe that wasnāt quite my intended outcome when I started down the aisle, it has to be said that nothing curtails long hours at a computer like a toddler. However, the things I intentionally do to keep myself from becoming Quasimodo include walking / jogging, stretching and keeping up on my martial arts training. And then I whine and complain until my husband gives me a neck rub. And then when all else fails I break down and pay for a massage.
Below are the most common stretches I do for my wrists. These drawings were actually produced by one of my former employers ā Visual Health Information. They produce drawings for physical therapists and others to give to patients. I have found all of these to be very helpful for my extended typing lifestyle.
When I received the usual fistful of useless bits of dead tree along with my receipt from Walgreen’s I almost chucked the entire lot in the trash, but decided to do the environmentally responsible thing and chuck them in the recycling at home. Ā Imagine my surprise when, onceĀ home, I realized that one of the coupons actually had value to me. That never happens.Ā It’s always twenty coupons for spam and baby food or spam baby food. I read and re-read the coupon, checked the fine print – it really was a coupon for a FREE mascara. Ā But, but, but… I love FREE. Ā And mascara – I love mascara! Ā This can’t be right. Ā I read the coupon again. Ā Yes, it definitely said free mascara.
The next week, I trotted in, picked up my mascara, handed in my coupon and waited for the other shoe to drop. Nope, still free. Ā I walked out with a tube of Revlon Ultimate All-in-One mascara and floating on a cloud of euphoria that can only be generated by free make-up products.
A week later that cloud had evaporated under the wilting heat of real life testing. This mascara is possibly the worst mascara I have ever used. At first glance it looks OK, the formula seems a little thick, but hardly unsual. Ā But two hours after applying I look like theĀ member of Our Gang known as Freckles. Ā The mascara leaves a nuclear dust cloud of black particles strewn across my face and clothes. I would have less mess on my face if I simply threw the mascara brush at myself. Ā This more than any other product I have ever owned has caused people, including strangers, to say, “Um… you’ve got a little… something?” while tapping awkwardly at their face.
Conclusion: Yes, I got free mascara, but I got what I paid for. Definitely NOT Carrie Mae approved.
An authorās job is not just to tell a story, but to decide how a story should be told. Is it better in first or third person? Is it told in one long march of words or are their chapters? We have to decide genre, tone and feeling. And once those decisions have been made an author must create and track the main plot of the story – the one that we struggle to capture in the blurb text on the back cover ā as well as the sub-plots, underlying themes, and finally, the characters themselves.Ā All of those pieces require not just the ability to write, but also the ability to track information. Because, as any serious reader will tell you (sometimes at great length), consistency and details matter greatly to a well written book, and while we can rely on an editor for some items, they are only human and can only catch so much.Ā It is in an authorās best interest to provide the cleanest manuscript possible.
Iām currently working on two vastly different stories: the fourth Carrie Mae Mystery Glossed Cause and a Romance Horror novella Wild Waters.Ā Each story comes with an array of characters, research and plot twists that to be perfectly honest I canāt hold in my brain.Ā Possibly pre-production of a toddler I could have kept hold of all the details, but no longer. Now, to keep all my worlds organized, I must rely on a system of notes, plot outlines and spreadsheets.
For the Carrie Mae books I track characters with a spread sheet that notes who they are (name, basic role, job or company) and also what book they have appeared in or if they have been deleted or omitted from a book.Ā I also have a rather extensive style sheet that helps me keep track of how certain things, such as chapter headings are formatted and whether or not Iām consistently formatting things like āAK-47ā and āINTERPOLā the same way over multiple books.
For Wild WatersIām writing in two different time periods ā WWII and Vietnam Āā and they each use distinctive slang that I organize in a couple of basic lists.Ā There are also multiple character points of view and it is important to keep track of what characters know and when they know it, so that each plot point is revealed at the correct time.Ā Tracking character arcs are more difficult and sometimes require multiple ways of visualizing.Ā I will frequently write out the plot from each characters point of view or I will graph it out on a virtual whiteboard, utilizing the main plot points.
There is no perfect system of course, and each author must work the way that works for them. But when examining a well-written book, I am frequently in awe, not just of the beautifully constructed words or strong turn of phrase, but the underlying construction of a book.Ā Sometimes, I find it amazing that any books get written at all.
https://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/OrganizingBox.jpg540720Bethany Maineshttps://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Aug2016-Logo-op3-300x69.pngBethany Maines2016-04-07 01:05:272023-03-13 14:52:14Organizing My World(s)
My Toddler Works for James Patterson
/in General Writing, Life, Marketing, The Stiletto Gang, Wild WatersMy dad says he invented the skateboard.
He says that he had never before seen or heard of a skateboard when he put a plank on skate wheels. Of course, his invention went no further than a backyard of summer fun, but he still likes to claim his invention when some youth sails by on a long board.
Well, now I feel his pain.Ā James Patterson, Mr. Prolific himself, is in the process of releasing what heās calling āBook Shotsā ā novella length works, penned with co-authors, that cost less than five dollars.
You have no idea how annoyed this makes me.
Because it was MY idea.Ā This month Iām releasing Wild Waters, a novella length paranormal romance (sex scenes!) story.Ā The genre is outside of my usual brand, but I thought the structure and topic were interesting (reporters, SEALs, Vietnam!). I also thought my readers might enjoy something at a lower price point, but in my style of writing.Ā I examined the options.Ā I had the thoughts. Ā I came up with the plan.
And then James Patterson stole it out of my brain!Ā How dare he use his larger amounts of money, time and fame to launch my idea!Ā It makes me want to march right over to his house and give him a toddler.Ā Letās see how fast he can type then.Ā Toddlers should be like weights for jockeys.Ā If Vegas gambled on writerās turning in manuscripts on time, Iām sure that they would have developed some sort of toddler distribution system by now. Ā Fortunately, for Mr. Patterson and for me, thereās plenty of room in this world for novellaās and writers of all kinds, with or without toddlers. Good luck to both of us with our tiny books.
Originally Published atĀ the Stiletto Gang on 06.08.16
Now is the time…
/in General Writing, Life, The Stiletto GangLate in the month, it seems like almost everyone suddenly wakes up and realizes that the deadlines that seemed so very far away are now, like, almost here, man.Ā Cue panic.Ā Cue sudden uptick in workload for yours truly.Ā The problem is that Iām exactly like everyone else.Ā Iāve been noodling over several pieces of writing and now the deadline is like, almost here, man!
Now is when the marathon of writing becomes a sprint. Just how fast can fingers type?Ā Weāre about to find out.
Now is also about the time when back pain and carpal tunnel set in.Ā Time to start juicing writers!Ā No, I mean literal juicing.Ā Itās important to stay hydrated ā prevents muscle spasms.Ā Although, I personally prefer copious amounts of tea, liberally applied, at regular intervals.
Now is the time when the tiny proto-human youāve been carefully nurturing like a hot house bloom looks up from a coloring book and says, āSorry mom, work. Four more minutes.āĀ Gee, wonder where she got that?
Now is the time that my face looks like this:
So wish me luck as I sprint to the end of the month.Ā And wish my family luck as they get abandoned for fake people that I made up.
Originally published on the Stiletto Gang 05.25.16
Personal Fitness
/in General Writing, Graphic Design, The Stiletto GangOriginally published at the Stiletto Gang on 05.11.16
Iām going to let you in on a secret ā writing is not for wussies. Itās for old people.
Or at least it makes you feel old. Carpal tunnel. Eye twitches and strains. Aching neck, sore back. The human body was not designed to spend hours sitting at a computer, and the hours compound into stiff muscles that have forgotten how to move. Walking into the kitchen after a prolonged bout of editing, I look like I’ve escaped from the neighborhood old-person jail… er… assisted living facility. I imagine that back when writers were churning out novels by quill and candlelight that it wasnāt any better. But at least back then we were likely to die by forty anyway and probably needed to worry more about childbirth and dental hygiene than whether or not our wrists were a tad achy.
I could trot out some line about suffering for my art, but the truth is, I do many things to combat the muscular stress of sitting and writing. First of all, I got married and had a kid. Although, maybe that wasnāt quite my intended outcome when I started down the aisle, it has to be said that nothing curtails long hours at a computer like a toddler. However, the things I intentionally do to keep myself from becoming Quasimodo include walking / jogging, stretching and keeping up on my martial arts training. And then I whine and complain until my husband gives me a neck rub. And then when all else fails I break down and pay for a massage.
Below are the most common stretches I do for my wrists. These drawings were actually produced by one of my former employers ā Visual Health Information. They produce drawings for physical therapists and others to give to patients. I have found all of these to be very helpful for my extended typing lifestyle.
A Mascara Massacre
/in Carrie Mae, Life, Make-UpWhen I received the usual fistful of useless bits of dead tree along with my receipt from Walgreen’s I almost chucked the entire lot in the trash, but decided to do the environmentally responsible thing and chuck them in the recycling at home. Ā Imagine my surprise when, onceĀ home, I realized that one of the coupons actually had value to me. That never happens.Ā It’s always twenty coupons for spam and baby food or spam baby food. I read and re-read the coupon, checked the fine print – it really was a coupon for a FREE mascara. Ā But, but, but… I love FREE. Ā And mascara – I love mascara! Ā This can’t be right. Ā I read the coupon again. Ā Yes, it definitely said free mascara.
The next week, I trotted in, picked up my mascara, handed in my coupon and waited for the other shoe to drop. Nope, still free. Ā I walked out with a tube of Revlon Ultimate All-in-One mascara and floating on a cloud of euphoria that can only be generated by free make-up products.
A week later that cloud had evaporated under the wilting heat of real life testing. This mascara is possibly the worst mascara I have ever used. At first glance it looks OK, the formula seems a little thick, but hardly unsual. Ā But two hours after applying I look like theĀ member of Our Gang known as Freckles. Ā The mascara leaves a nuclear dust cloud of black particles strewn across my face and clothes. I would have less mess on my face if I simply threw the mascara brush at myself. Ā This more than any other product I have ever owned has caused people, including strangers, to say, “Um… you’ve got a little… something?” while tapping awkwardly at their face.
Conclusion: Yes, I got free mascara, but I got what I paid for. Definitely NOT Carrie Mae approved.
Organizing My World(s)
/in Carrie Mae, General Writing, The Stiletto GangAn authorās job is not just to tell a story, but to decide how a story should be told. Is it better in first or third person? Is it told in one long march of words or are their chapters? We have to decide genre, tone and feeling. And once those decisions have been made an author must create and track the main plot of the story – the one that we struggle to capture in the blurb text on the back cover ā as well as the sub-plots, underlying themes, and finally, the characters themselves.Ā All of those pieces require not just the ability to write, but also the ability to track information. Because, as any serious reader will tell you (sometimes at great length), consistency and details matter greatly to a well written book, and while we can rely on an editor for some items, they are only human and can only catch so much.Ā It is in an authorās best interest to provide the cleanest manuscript possible.
Iām currently working on two vastly different stories: the fourth Carrie Mae Mystery Glossed Cause and a Romance Horror novella Wild Waters.Ā Each story comes with an array of characters, research and plot twists that to be perfectly honest I canāt hold in my brain.Ā Possibly pre-production of a toddler I could have kept hold of all the details, but no longer. Now, to keep all my worlds organized, I must rely on a system of notes, plot outlines and spreadsheets.
There is no perfect system of course, and each author must work the way that works for them. But when examining a well-written book, I am frequently in awe, not just of the beautifully constructed words or strong turn of phrase, but the underlying construction of a book.Ā Sometimes, I find it amazing that any books get written at all.