A funny thing happens when you read your own reviews ā you start thinking about them.
Iām about a month away from completing the manuscript for Glossed Cause, the fourth book in the Carrie Mae Mystery Series, and I made the mistake of checking out a few of the reviews on High-Caliber Concealer (CM #3).Ā I knew it was a bad idea.Ā Itās always a bad idea.Ā What happens when I get to a bad one, hmmm?Ā Itās not like I can look the reviewer up, knock on their door and explain how monumentally wrong they are.Ā But you think, āIāll just look at the good ones.Ā Just one.Ā I can stop there.ā
You know this a total lie, right? Reviews are like Pringles for the eyes.Ā Like I can stop with just one.Ā I open up Amazon, Iām looking and⦠then I read this: āIf you enjoy reading about Stephanie Plum, you’ll love Nicki! Maines is getting better with each book.ā
And I thought, āHell, yeah!ā <insert fist pump here>
Just one?Ā But I have popped ā I cannot stop. I should read more!
Eventually, of course, I got to one with a complaint. Iād spent too much time on Nikkiās personal life. Gah! But, but, but⦠Glossed Cause is about her FATHER (among other things). Ā What do I dooooooo????
Now Iām stuck staring at the screen, half way through the book, trying to figure out if I should turn the ship or stay the course.Ā āStay the course!ā my internal editor yells.Ā But itās hard to hear over the crashing waves of doubt.
I was complaining a negative comment on another project to my husband he said, āWell, I think it was awesome and my vote counts more.āĀ <insert lightbulb going on here>
Why do the negatives get more votes?Ā Shouldnāt the positives get equal rights?Ā Hereās what I and anyone else who is stuck in this trap are going to do:Ā Weāre going to go back, weāre going to read the first positive review, and weāre going to believe that one.Ā Because Maines really is getting better with every book.
https://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/AmazonReview-525x240.jpg240525Bethany Maineshttps://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Aug2016-Logo-op3-300x69.pngBethany Maines2016-02-11 01:26:292016-02-09 18:39:42Equal Rights for Positives
In Much Ado About NothingBeatrice and Benedick, the worst of rivals, are set up by their friends to fall in love.Ā So that by Act 2, Scene 3, when Beatrice says, āAgainst my will I am sent to bid you come into dinner,ā Ā Benedick believes that Beatrice is madly in love with him, while Beatrice believes him to be an ass.Ā After she exits, he says in all smugness, āHa! Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner. Thereās a double meaning in that.ā
Someone I know once asked an English teacher how he knew the author intended the symbolism the teacher was accusing him of.Ā The teacher replied, āIt doesnāt matter.āĀ As an author this makes me want to poke him in the eye just a little bit.Ā But in the end heās right; stories mean something to a reader independent of the writerās intentions.Ā Each reader brings their own experiences to a book and a writer canāt predict them.Ā So how can an author prevent his readers from pulling a Benedick and seeing double meanings where none are intended?
Itās a very secret and advanced technique called (wait for it): educated guessing.Ā And good beta readers.Ā As an author I try to learn about other points of view, so that I can write stronger more realistic characters and then I rely on my writers group to read through a piece and throw up flags around text that might unintentionally carry a subtext thatās either offensive or poorly thought out.Ā Itās hard to think that something Iāve written could be construed as offensive, because after all, I am I and Iām awesome and I have only the best of intentions.Ā But we all have prejudices or periodically spout unexamined notions that have been fed to us by society.
An easy example is āpink is only for girlsā.Ā This statement is both observationally false (been to the mall lately?), and historically inaccurate (pink used to be a boys color). Color is a product of light bouncing off a surface or being absorbed (we see the portion of the spectrum bounced back); any deeper meaning has been assigned to a color by humanity. So unless my character is a sexist and I need him or her to say total nonsense about gender roles, I probably shouldnāt write that and a good beta reader should flag it as a problem.Ā With any luck I can keep the unintentional double meanings to a minimum. Ā I donāt want to be a Benedick.
https://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/Benedick-much-ado-about-nothing-1099795_280_220.jpg220280Bethany Maineshttps://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Aug2016-Logo-op3-300x69.pngBethany Maines2016-01-28 01:31:312016-01-25 16:34:52There’s a Double Meaning in That
You know how Madonna now talks with a British accent?Ā And everyone kind of mocks her?Ā It is annoying to have someone you know grew up in Michigan try and sound all posh, but at the same time⦠I would be the same way.Ā I once realized that I had been watching twenty minutes of a cooking show with an Australian host and I had no idea what was being made.Ā Iād spent the entire time watching her mouth trying to figure out how she was murdering pronouncing her vowels that way.Ā I sounded like a monkey on the couch as I clenched and unclenched my teeth trying āehhh-oooh-uhā my vowels.Ā I was two seconds away from throwing a shrimp on the barbie when my husband came home and gave me the look that implied that while our marriage was a joy and a blessing, it was also occasionally weird.
The unfortunate thing is that, just as Iām addicted to copying other peopleās accents, I find that Iām also prone to picking up the language of whomever Iām reading.Ā Iām sure my writing/reading group can tell when Iāve been reading Regency Romances.Ā One cannot help but be addicted to the opulent turn of phrase.Ā And if I could work some sort of line about puce satin and a cravat into the paragraph all the better.Ā What if Iām reading fluffy chick lit?Ā Pretty sure that my character needs to mention her thighs and a cupcake in the next sentence.Ā Taut thrillers? Sentences get shorter.Ā Characters become brutal. And adverbs?Ā Kill āem.Ā Kill āem all.
The brutal snuffing out of āsuddenlyā aside, this habit does real damage to my narratives.Ā Characters donāt sound like themselves (why does that Texan sound English?) and plots can veer wildly off course as I spend a page (or three) describing clothing.Ā So when Iām writing I have to take a bit of a hiatus from reading unless I can find that wondrous book that matches the tone that Iām writing.Ā I think itās incredibly unfair that my reading has suffered as a result of my writing, but currently itās a sacrifice Iām willing to make.Ā Of course, if I could just figure out how to retire with a million dollars so that I could segregate my year into reading quarters and writing quarters life would be awesome.
https://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/road-to-hell-2.jpg461720Bethany Maineshttps://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Aug2016-Logo-op3-300x69.pngBethany Maines2016-01-23 00:30:232016-01-20 20:14:45The Accent Mark Goes… Here
I was recently sitting with a group of friends discussing a book weād all read recently (Perfect Likeness by J.M. Phillippe ā group consensus: two thumbs up, funny and touching!).Ā But then the conversation turned to whether or not the author had left room for a sequel.Ā Some thought there was definitely going to be a sequel, while others read the slightly open-ended conclusion as the perfect metaphor for the books message about depression. Ā Since we happen to know the author, it was a simple matter of waiting until she returned from the bar with her cocktail, so that we could ask her.Ā But the entire argument reminded me of the very first public reading I did of my own writing.
I was 19 and Iād just won third place in a contest for Just Between You and Me, a short-story of a high-school girl who sells her English teacher a sense of humor.Ā There was an awards ceremony and the top three all read their stories. Ā I was incredibly nervous. Ā Iād practiced, but still read too fast and killed one of the jokes. Ā But by the time I was done, I felt triumphant.Ā Iād read, and people had clapped.Ā And not just people in my family. Ā Actual people.
And then the audience was allowed to ask questions.
Whoever invented audience participation was a sadist.Ā Who wants the audience to participate?Ā Donāt you know that when they participate they ask questions?Ā Questions that I had never considered in the entire breadth of my imagination that anyone would ever actually ask. Ā A few years later, I discovered that I might be a masochist, because audience particpation suddenly seemed fun. Ā But this was my Day 1 as an AUTHOR and I was totally unprepared for THE QUESTION. Ā It was delivered by forty-something guy who seemed to have really enjoyed the story, but askedĀ this doozy: āDid she really sell a sense of humor?ā
But… but… that questions the very foundation of my story. Ā If you didn’t buy into the premise how could you likeĀ it? I left ambiguity on purpose. Ā Did you not enjoy the ambiguity? Ā Does this mean the story was bad? Ā How do I answer that? Ā What does this meannnnnn???!!! <- insert author confidence down spiral here.
A few years later, with more writing and more experience, I would have replied, āYes, she did.Ā How did you enjoy your first visit to the Fantasy section of the bookstore? There are many more books like this out there ā donāt be afraid to experiment.āĀ Instead, I sort of fish flapped my mouth for a second or two and said something vague like, āThatās something youāll have to decide for yourself.āĀ Which, again, with more years and writing experience later, Iāve recognized as sub-conscious code for, āI wasnāt able to decide either, but Iām not telling you that, you impertinent person.ā
I did eventually decide.Ā Ariana, the young person in question, really did sell a sense of humor.Ā You can read Just Between You and Me and more about Arianaās adventures in my collection of Tales from the City of Destiny.Ā And as for the sequel status of Perfect Likeness?Ā Well, you will either have to read and decide for yourself, or follow the authors suggested solution ā bribery. Ā Preferably with cocktails and cake.
https://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Aug2016-Logo-op3-300x69.png00Bethany Maineshttps://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Aug2016-Logo-op3-300x69.pngBethany Maines2015-12-11 01:24:272015-12-08 16:26:32Author Diaries: Day 1
Itās almost time to change the art in my office.Ā Iāve had the same art since I moved in five years ago and itās now covered in layers of other art.Ā Ā Itās time to relocate, re-shuffle and change up.Ā Maybe you are not one of the people who feels that deep need to redecorate periodically, but I happen to have it in my genes.Ā Returning home to find my mother peeling wallpaper was cause for eyerolling, but not surprise.Ā It works both ways though.Ā On more than one occasion in my teen years I decided to re-arrange my bedroom after midnight.Ā My mother never once questioned these decisions.Ā Because she fully understands that sometimes life would just be better if the furniture were NOT where it is right now.
These are also good occasions for spring cleaning and decluttering.Ā Someone once said that clutter items are just decisions you didnāt make.Ā If you had decided where that item needed to go, it wouldnāt be lingering there on the desk or kitchen table.Ā Although, I suspect that the person who originated that idea never had children.Ā Because the garbage can is not lingering on top my desk; itās hiding from my toddler.
The problem with decluttering art, is that Iām either removing my own work or the work of an artist I admire.Ā Itās unfortunate, but apparently, I cannot have ALL the art, ALL the time.Ā Iām not a Getty.Ā I donāt get to have my own museum.Ā This makes me infinitely sad.Ā My perfect house would probably look like a library mated with the Guggenheim and married the Orsay.Ā Unfortunately my current house looks more like the product of a library and a 1910 bungalow who married a carpenter in the 1950ās. Which means we have books in piles and art in piles and we had to remove the weird scalloped molding over the sink when we moved in.
So some art will have to go back in the closet and some new pieces will have to get matted for display.Ā And then, maybe, I can get back to writing.
Equal Rights for Positives
/in Carrie Mae, General Writing, The Stiletto GangA funny thing happens when you read your own reviews ā you start thinking about them.
Iām about a month away from completing the manuscript for Glossed Cause, the fourth book in the Carrie Mae Mystery Series, and I made the mistake of checking out a few of the reviews on High-Caliber Concealer (CM #3).Ā I knew it was a bad idea.Ā Itās always a bad idea.Ā What happens when I get to a bad one, hmmm?Ā Itās not like I can look the reviewer up, knock on their door and explain how monumentally wrong they are.Ā But you think, āIāll just look at the good ones.Ā Just one.Ā I can stop there.ā
You know this a total lie, right? Reviews are like Pringles for the eyes.Ā Like I can stop with just one.Ā I open up Amazon, Iām looking and⦠then I read this: āIf you enjoy reading about Stephanie Plum, you’ll love Nicki! Maines is getting better with each book.ā
And I thought, āHell, yeah!ā <insert fist pump here>
Just one?Ā But I have popped ā I cannot stop. I should read more!
Eventually, of course, I got to one with a complaint. Iād spent too much time on Nikkiās personal life. Gah! But, but, but⦠Glossed Cause is about her FATHER (among other things). Ā What do I dooooooo????
Now Iām stuck staring at the screen, half way through the book, trying to figure out if I should turn the ship or stay the course.Ā āStay the course!ā my internal editor yells.Ā But itās hard to hear over the crashing waves of doubt.
I was complaining a negative comment on another project to my husband he said, āWell, I think it was awesome and my vote counts more.āĀ <insert lightbulb going on here>
Why do the negatives get more votes?Ā Shouldnāt the positives get equal rights?Ā Hereās what I and anyone else who is stuck in this trap are going to do:Ā Weāre going to go back, weāre going to read the first positive review, and weāre going to believe that one.Ā Because Maines really is getting better with every book.
There’s a Double Meaning in That
/in General Writing, Life, The Stiletto GangIn Much Ado About Nothing Beatrice and Benedick, the worst of rivals, are set up by their friends to fall in love.Ā So that by Act 2, Scene 3, when Beatrice says, āAgainst my will I am sent to bid you come into dinner,ā Ā Benedick believes that Beatrice is madly in love with him, while Beatrice believes him to be an ass.Ā After she exits, he says in all smugness, āHa! Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner. Thereās a double meaning in that.ā
Someone I know once asked an English teacher how he knew the author intended the symbolism the teacher was accusing him of.Ā The teacher replied, āIt doesnāt matter.āĀ As an author this makes me want to poke him in the eye just a little bit.Ā But in the end heās right; stories mean something to a reader independent of the writerās intentions.Ā Each reader brings their own experiences to a book and a writer canāt predict them.Ā So how can an author prevent his readers from pulling a Benedick and seeing double meanings where none are intended?
Itās a very secret and advanced technique called (wait for it): educated guessing.Ā And good beta readers.Ā As an author I try to learn about other points of view, so that I can write stronger more realistic characters and then I rely on my writers group to read through a piece and throw up flags around text that might unintentionally carry a subtext thatās either offensive or poorly thought out.Ā Itās hard to think that something Iāve written could be construed as offensive, because after all, I am I and Iām awesome and I have only the best of intentions.Ā But we all have prejudices or periodically spout unexamined notions that have been fed to us by society.
An easy example is āpink is only for girlsā.Ā This statement is both observationally false (been to the mall lately?), and historically inaccurate (pink used to be a boys color). Color is a product of light bouncing off a surface or being absorbed (we see the portion of the spectrum bounced back); any deeper meaning has been assigned to a color by humanity. So unless my character is a sexist and I need him or her to say total nonsense about gender roles, I probably shouldnāt write that and a good beta reader should flag it as a problem.Ā With any luck I can keep the unintentional double meanings to a minimum. Ā I donāt want to be a Benedick.
The Accent Mark Goes… Here
/in General Writing, Girlfriends Book Club, LifeYou know how Madonna now talks with a British accent?Ā And everyone kind of mocks her?Ā It is annoying to have someone you know grew up in Michigan try and sound all posh, but at the same time⦠I would be the same way.Ā I once realized that I had been watching twenty minutes of a cooking show with an Australian host and I had no idea what was being made.Ā Iād spent the entire time watching her mouth trying to figure out how she was murdering pronouncing her vowels that way.Ā I sounded like a monkey on the couch as I clenched and unclenched my teeth trying āehhh-oooh-uhā my vowels.Ā I was two seconds away from throwing a shrimp on the barbie when my husband came home and gave me the look that implied that while our marriage was a joy and a blessing, it was also occasionally weird.
The unfortunate thing is that, just as Iām addicted to copying other peopleās accents, I find that Iām also prone to picking up the language of whomever Iām reading.Ā Iām sure my writing/reading group can tell when Iāve been reading Regency Romances.Ā One cannot help but be addicted to the opulent turn of phrase.Ā And if I could work some sort of line about puce satin and a cravat into the paragraph all the better.Ā What if Iām reading fluffy chick lit?Ā Pretty sure that my character needs to mention her thighs and a cupcake in the next sentence.Ā Taut thrillers? Sentences get shorter.Ā Characters become brutal. And adverbs?Ā Kill āem.Ā Kill āem all.
The brutal snuffing out of āsuddenlyā aside, this habit does real damage to my narratives.Ā Characters donāt sound like themselves (why does that Texan sound English?) and plots can veer wildly off course as I spend a page (or three) describing clothing.Ā So when Iām writing I have to take a bit of a hiatus from reading unless I can find that wondrous book that matches the tone that Iām writing.Ā I think itās incredibly unfair that my reading has suffered as a result of my writing, but currently itās a sacrifice Iām willing to make.Ā Of course, if I could just figure out how to retire with a million dollars so that I could segregate my year into reading quarters and writing quarters life would be awesome.
Author Diaries: Day 1
/in City of Destiny, General Writing, Girlfriends Book Club, LifeI was recently sitting with a group of friends discussing a book weād all read recently (Perfect Likeness by J.M. Phillippe ā group consensus: two thumbs up, funny and touching!).Ā But then the conversation turned to whether or not the author had left room for a sequel.Ā Some thought there was definitely going to be a sequel, while others read the slightly open-ended conclusion as the perfect metaphor for the books message about depression. Ā Since we happen to know the author, it was a simple matter of waiting until she returned from the bar with her cocktail, so that we could ask her.Ā But the entire argument reminded me of the very first public reading I did of my own writing.
I was 19 and Iād just won third place in a contest for Just Between You and Me, a short-story of a high-school girl who sells her English teacher a sense of humor.Ā There was an awards ceremony and the top three all read their stories. Ā I was incredibly nervous. Ā Iād practiced, but still read too fast and killed one of the jokes. Ā But by the time I was done, I felt triumphant.Ā Iād read, and people had clapped.Ā And not just people in my family. Ā Actual people.
And then the audience was allowed to ask questions.
Whoever invented audience participation was a sadist.Ā Who wants the audience to participate?Ā Donāt you know that when they participate they ask questions?Ā Questions that I had never considered in the entire breadth of my imagination that anyone would ever actually ask. Ā A few years later, I discovered that I might be a masochist, because audience particpation suddenly seemed fun. Ā But this was my Day 1 as an AUTHOR and I was totally unprepa
red for THE QUESTION. Ā It was delivered by forty-something guy who seemed to have really enjoyed the story, but askedĀ this doozy: āDid she really sell a sense of humor?ā
But… but… that questions the very foundation of my story. Ā If you didn’t buy into the premise how could you likeĀ it? I left ambiguity on purpose. Ā Did you not enjoy the ambiguity? Ā Does this mean the story was bad? Ā How do I answer that? Ā What does this meannnnnn???!!! <- insert author confidence down spiral here.
A few years later, with more writing and more experience, I would have replied, āYes, she did.Ā How did you enjoy your first visit to the Fantasy section of the bookstore? There are many more books like this out there ā donāt be afraid to experiment.āĀ Instead, I sort of fish flapped my mouth for a second or two and said something vague like, āThatās something youāll have to decide for yourself.āĀ Which, again, with more years and writing experience later, Iāve recognized as sub-conscious code for, āI wasnāt able to decide either, but Iām not telling you that, you impertinent person.ā
I did eventually decide.Ā Ariana, the young person in question, really did sell a sense of humor.Ā You can read Just Between You and Me and more about Arianaās adventures in my collection of Tales from the City of Destiny.Ā And as for the sequel status of Perfect Likeness?Ā Well, you will either have to read and decide for yourself, or follow the authors suggested solution ā bribery. Ā Preferably with cocktails and cake.
Everybody Rotate
/in General Writing, Life, The Stiletto GangItās almost time to change the art in my office.Ā Iāve had the same art since I moved in five years ago and itās now covered in layers of other art.Ā Ā Itās time to relocate, re-shuffle and change up.Ā Maybe you are not one of the people who feels that deep need to redecorate periodically, but I happen to have it in my genes.Ā Returning home to find my mother peeling wallpaper was cause for eyerolling, but not surprise.Ā It works both ways though.Ā On more than one occasion in my teen years I decided to re-arrange my bedroom after midnight.Ā My mother never once questioned these decisions.Ā Because she fully understands that sometimes life would just be better if the furniture were NOT where it is right now.
These are also good occasions for spring cleaning and decluttering.Ā Someone once said that clutter items are just decisions you didnāt make.Ā If you had decided where that item needed to go, it wouldnāt be lingering there on the desk or kitchen table.Ā Although, I suspect that the person who originated that idea never had children.Ā Because the garbage can is not lingering on top my desk; itās hiding from my toddler.
The problem with decluttering art, is that Iām either removing my own work or the work of an artist I admire.Ā Itās unfortunate, but apparently, I cannot have ALL the art, ALL the time.Ā Iām not a Getty.Ā I donāt get to have my own museum.Ā This makes me infinitely sad.Ā My perfect house would probably look like a library mated with the Guggenheim and married the Orsay.Ā Unfortunately my current house looks more like the product of a library and a 1910 bungalow who married a carpenter in the 1950ās. Which means we have books in piles and art in piles and we had to remove the weird scalloped molding over the sink when we moved in.
So some art will have to go back in the closet and some new pieces will have to get matted for display.Ā And then, maybe, I can get back to writing.