The title of todayās blog is not facetious. I do swear. Kind of a lot.
I try not to in public. Much like public displays of affection, I find it inelegant to be assaulted by profanity that Iām not participating in. I think keeping a lid on my foul mouthed habit is only polite and try to reserve it for private situations and friends who have known me long enough to not take offense. As a result, a few of my acquaintances have been surprised to find themselves on the receiving end of a periodic f-bomb. (Yes, Iām the person who should receive this paperweight as a gift.) In the past curbing my tongue has not particularly onerous, but since my child has moved into speaking and comprehending, you know, actual words, life as a purveyor of profanity has become more difficult. Now I canāt even swear in my own home?! Word swaps and humming the Star Spangled Banner do not really help. (Son of a goat monkey, keeping my swearing on the inside is hard!)
In most of my books, Iāve minimized the swearing to a solid āhellā or ādamnā because well, my grandmother likes to read my books. But recently, Iāve begun working on a story that moves my swearing habit to the forefront. Rather than really āmessing some stuff upā, I am straight āf***ing some s*** upā for a change. And ooooh, does it feel good. Ah profanity, how dost though trip lightly off my off my keyboard and onto the page? Very lightly indeed.
Many comments on profanity seem to insist that profanity is the crutch of mind unable to think of something else to say. I completely disagree. To correctly use profanity one must have an understanding of language that allows you to use the f-word as a verb, a noun, and an adjective. (Yes, it really can ā see examples here).
Will my completed manuscript stay chock full of profane goodness? I donāt know, but Iām sure as **** interested to find out.
After reading Paffi Floodās article about that newĀ Beaver Bum smell, I donāt feel so bad about todayās google searches, which include best easy-open pocket knives, MAPP gas, and a variety of facts about the Tacoma Police Department in 1922. My search history may imply an interest in violence, safe breaking and the local politics of the early twentieth century, but at least I have not learned anything horrifying about ice cream.
It has been noted on more than one occasion that mystery writers tend to have rather disturbing research patterns. But really, of course we do. No one wants to get that detail about corpse bloat wrong. So embarrassing ā how could I face the other writers at the conventions? But the other, less disturbing, research rarely gets mentioned. What gets served in high-school lunches these days? Hint: tater tots are still going strong. What are the three laws of robotics again? (Answer here) What brand would a black, vegetarian, female computer hacker smoke? Turns out itās either Newport Menthols or American Spirit Organics. What do ballet dancers do strengthen their feet? (Video here)
My point? Thereās a lot more research that goes into a work of fiction than just what happened to the dead guy. But that research isnāt particularly titillating. Itās simply the stuff we bore you with at cocktail parties. What I find interesting is that almost every person Iāve ever met has been an expert in something, from baking, bagpiping, needlepoint, and cars, to wood working, plumbing, or how the brakes on busses work. I never know when Iām going to need that expertise, but I like to keep track of my various experts. After all, I never know when Iām going to need to know how to crash a bus full of bagpipers. Not that I would ever publically admit to mentally cataloging my acquaintances by how useful they could be to future researchā¦
https://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/crediblehulk.jpg539600Bethany Maineshttps://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Aug2016-Logo-op3-300x69.pngBethany Maines2016-12-15 09:15:382016-12-14 17:21:54The Other Research
For me, Thanksgiving and the coming end of the year frequently combine to make me philosophical and prone to navel gazing.Ā Just what have I been doing with my life?Ā Am I grateful? Am I curating my life in the path of gratitude? Do I even want to?Ā Why should I have to? Is this my problem? Is this my fault?Ā Then I start humming Paul Simonās āGumbootsā and then go shove some pumpkin pie in my face.
Tuesdayās Stiletto Gang post from J.M. Phillippe discussed the nature of gratitude, particularly in the face of difficult times ā When Gratitude isnāt Easy ā and struck a chord with me.Ā I thought she expressed beautifully the idea that gratitude is not a binary thing, itās a plus thing.Ā Gratitude can be added like a spice to any recipe.Ā Even if Iām feeling other things, it doesnāt mean I canāt feel gratitude.
But the very concept of binary got me to thinking about our radically non-binary human nature and how it is so very at odds with our consistently binary thinking.Ā We all have that one relative who is āsuch a nice guy, except for (fill in the blank)ā Fill in the blank could be anything from his random use of racial slurs, his insistence on patting the waitress on the behind, or the fact that he tells jokes about Asians.Ā He doesnāt cheat on his wife (but maybe on his taxes), he doesnāt use drugs, he holds open doors for people.Ā Exceptā¦
So is this character a good person or a bad person?Ā Binary says: yes/no.Ā Non-binary says: depends on other factors ā Iāll have to really think about this.Ā Iāll have to think about my own moral stand on multiple issues.Ā And also, does he kick puppies? Because thatās a deal breaker.
From a writing standpoint, this is the kind of thing thatās fascinating to explore.Ā But in real life, during an election season, itās made Thanksgiving a cringe worthy holiday where we all go and wonder if Republican Uncle Bob is going to get more than his turkey sliced if he brings up Trump to Democrat Aunt Jane.Ā I donāt have the answers.Ā Iām not sure any of us do.Ā Thatās why binary is so attractive.Ā Make the decision, Ā yes/no, and then I donāt have to think about it anymore.Ā Non-binary means I have to keep revisiting the topic ā to keep thinking.Ā If binary trims away the indecision, then it also trims away the additional factors ā the pluses.Ā Ā Good/bad.Ā Yes/no. Happy/sad. Grateful/non-grateful.Ā Is that what we want the answer to be?
If thatās the way itās going to be, Iām going to call this whole thing to a halt.
— Gumboots, Paul Simon
And now if youāll excuse, I hear a pumpkin pie calling my name.
Youāre stuck in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean with 8 strangers and no food or water, who do you eat first?
Dystopian novels have held a prominent place on our national reading lists for the last few years and while I occasionally enjoy a jaunt into the horrific futures that we could create for ourselves they donāt really speak to me.Ā To me they frequently seem like the ultimate lifeboat game. While occasionally itās fun to work through the logic of how to survive in a treacherous situation, the real answer to any lifeboat game is to not get stuck in the lifeboat in the first place.
I was reminded of this principle recently when I visited a conference for my day job (graphic design). The conference was for public works personnel (AKA everyone who keeps your city functioning) and their lunch speaker spoke on how their department had handled an earthquake.Ā From personnel rotation, calling in reinforcements, clearing roadways, reviewing housing safety, clean up ā this department moved swiftly with the goal of maintaining safety and returning their town to normal in the shortest amount of time possible (and they did a great job).Ā But having just read a dystopian novel I was struck by the realization that not one person in the room was thinkingā¦ āBob, Iād eat Bob.āĀ They werenāt playing the game ā they were strategizing about how to not get stuck on the lifeboat.
All of this led to four thoughts. Ā One ā Iām incredibly grateful for our public works personnel.Ā From sewer maintenance, to bridge engineers, to water management, they deserve more recognition than they get.Ā Two – All of you great public employees are screwing up a perfectly good dystopian plot line RIGHT NOW.Ā Ā Weāre not supposed to be coming together to overcome a natural disaster and working for the common good!Ā Come on, people.Ā Where is the divisive hatred and the reaching for the shotguns? Thatās it; Iām breaking out the zombies.Ā Bob is going to be dinner if I have to have three plot contrivances before breakfast. Ā Three ā We as society need to invest more in infrastructure.Ā And four ā Because we donāt invest more in infrastructure we all need to have 3 days to 2 weeks of supplies on hand depending on where you live.Ā Be prepared. Donāt let a dystopian novel happen to you.
https://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Aug2016-Logo-op3-300x69.png00Bethany Maineshttps://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Aug2016-Logo-op3-300x69.pngBethany Maines2016-11-09 18:18:032016-11-08 18:21:53Dystopian Games
Writerās Group: to gather with others to read and critique excerpts of written work
Reading Group: to gather with others to read and critique books, drink and snack
When done correctly, a writerās group can operate as an auxiliary brain or a training ground to push a writer forward in her craft.Ā They can be fun, inspiring and incredibly helpful. They can also be a sucking hole of negativity and wasted time.
With that in mind, it was with some trepidation that I recently tested out a new group. The hostess had a dog (bonus points) and they had established a rule of positivity and compliments before critiques (nice).Ā They had a time keeper and a word count on the segments we read (organized!). Each writer was doing different genres and styles, but that had the benefit of bringing diverse points of view to the table.Ā In general, it was great. It provided very valuable feedback and I can only hope that I was equally helpful to the other writers.
However, in specific, it was wee bit disappointing as there were no beverages or snacks.Ā The reasoning ā that hosting the group was enough trouble and that we were here to do actual serious work, not carouse ā makes total, logical, absolute sense. Ā But in the sense of āitās been a long week, and Bethany wants a potato chip and a glass of somethingā it was less than I had hoped for.
I think, possibly what I was really hoping for was a Reading Group.Ā Every Reading Group Iāve ever attended came with crackers, cheese, and wine ā the three low effort food groups. Now, in defense of the writerās group, very few Reading Groupās Iāve ever attended actually stayed entirely on topic. Ā There was a lot ofā¦ uhā¦ digression, shall we say.Ā And time keeping was absolute disaster.Ā And learning was sort of ancillary by-product of reading a book I didnāt pick out, but gosh darn it, the artichoke dip was fantastic.
So next month?Ā Iāll be packing my own snacks to the writers group.Ā After all, that group comes with a dog.
https://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/bella-new-critique-group.png364516Bethany Maineshttps://bethanymaines.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Aug2016-Logo-op3-300x69.pngBethany Maines2016-10-27 12:30:032016-10-24 21:13:27Writers vs. Readers
I Swear…
/in General Writing, Life, The Stiletto GangThe title of todayās blog is not facetious. I do swear. Kind of a lot.
In most of my books, Iāve minimized the swearing to a solid āhellā or ādamnā because well, my grandmother likes to read my books. But recently, Iāve begun working on a story that moves my swearing habit to the forefront. Rather than really āmessing some stuff upā, I am straight āf***ing some s*** upā for a change. And ooooh, does it feel good. Ah profanity, how dost though trip lightly off my off my keyboard and onto the page? Very lightly indeed.
Will my completed manuscript stay chock full of profane goodness? I donāt know, but Iām sure as **** interested to find out.
The Other Research
/in General WritingAfter reading Paffi Floodās article about that newĀ Beaver Bum smell, I donāt feel so bad about todayās google searches, which include best easy-open pocket knives, MAPP gas, and a variety of facts about the Tacoma Police Department in 1922. My search history may imply an interest in violence, safe breaking and the local politics of the early twentieth century, but at least I have not learned anything horrifying about ice cream.
It has been noted on more than one occasion that mystery writers tend to have rather disturbing research patterns. But really, of course we do. No one wants to get that detail about corpse bloat wrong. So embarrassing ā how could I face the other writers at the conventions? But the other, less disturbing, research rarely gets mentioned. What gets served in high-school lunches these days? Hint: tater tots are still going strong. What are the three laws of robotics again? (Answer here) What brand would a black, vegetarian, female computer hacker smoke? Turns out itās either Newport Menthols or American Spirit Organics. What do ballet dancers do strengthen their feet? (Video here)
Originally posted at the Stiletto Gang on 12.14.16
Binary Thanks
/in General WritingFor me, Thanksgiving and the coming end of the year frequently combine to make me philosophical and prone to navel gazing.Ā Just what have I been doing with my life?Ā Am I grateful? Am I curating my life in the path of gratitude? Do I even want to?Ā Why should I have to? Is this my problem? Is this my fault?Ā Then I start humming Paul Simonās āGumbootsā and then go shove some pumpkin pie in my face.
Tuesdayās Stiletto Gang post from J.M. Phillippe discussed the nature of gratitude, particularly in the face of difficult times ā When Gratitude isnāt Easy ā and struck a chord with me.Ā I thought she expressed beautifully the idea that gratitude is not a binary thing, itās a plus thing.Ā Gratitude can be added like a spice to any recipe.Ā Even if Iām feeling other things, it doesnāt mean I canāt feel gratitude.
But the very concept of binary got me to thinking about our radically non-binary human nature and how it is so very at odds with our consistently binary thinking.Ā We all have that one relative who is āsuch a nice guy, except for (fill in the blank)ā Fill in the blank could be anything from his random use of racial slurs, his insistence on patting the waitress on the behind, or the fact that he tells jokes about Asians.Ā He doesnāt cheat on his wife (but maybe on his taxes), he doesnāt use drugs, he holds open doors for people.Ā Exceptā¦
So is this character a good person or a bad person?Ā Binary says: yes/no.Ā Non-binary says: depends on other factors ā Iāll have to really think about this.Ā Iāll have to think about my own moral stand on multiple issues.Ā And also, does he kick puppies? Because thatās a deal breaker.
From a writing standpoint, this is the kind of thing thatās fascinating to explore.Ā But in real life, during an election season, itās made Thanksgiving a cringe worthy holiday where we all go and wonder if Republican Uncle Bob is going to get more than his turkey sliced if he brings up Trump to Democrat Aunt Jane.Ā I donāt have the answers.Ā Iām not sure any of us do.Ā Thatās why binary is so attractive.Ā Make the decision, Ā yes/no, and then I donāt have to think about it anymore.Ā Non-binary means I have to keep revisiting the topic ā to keep thinking.Ā If binary trims away the indecision, then it also trims away the additional factors ā the pluses.Ā Ā Good/bad.Ā Yes/no. Happy/sad. Grateful/non-grateful.Ā Is that what we want the answer to be?
If thatās the way itās going to be, Iām going to call this whole thing to a halt.
— Gumboots, Paul Simon
And now if youāll excuse, I hear a pumpkin pie calling my name.
Dystopian Games
/in General Writing, Graphic Design, Life, The Stiletto GangYouāre stuck in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean with 8 strangers and no food or water, who do you eat first?
Dystopian novels have held a prominent place on our national reading lists for the last few years and while I occasionally enjoy a jaunt into the horrific futures that we could create for ourselves they donāt really speak to me.Ā To me they frequently seem like the ultimate lifeboat game. While occasionally itās fun to work through the logic of how to survive in a treacherous situation, the real answer to any lifeboat game is to not get stuck in the lifeboat in the first place.
I was reminded of this principle recently when I visited a conference for my day job (graphic design). The conference was for public works personnel (AKA everyone who keeps your city functioning) and their lunch speaker spoke on how their department had handled an earthquake.Ā From personnel rotation, calling in reinforcements, clearing roadways, reviewing housing safety, clean up ā this department moved swiftly with the goal of maintaining safety and returning their town to normal in the shortest amount of time possible (and they did a great job).Ā But having just read a dystopian novel I was struck by the realization that not one person in the room was thinkingā¦ āBob, Iād eat Bob.āĀ They werenāt playing the game ā they were strategizing about how to not get stuck on the lifeboat.
All of this led to four thoughts. Ā One ā Iām incredibly grateful for our public works personnel.Ā From sewer maintenance, to bridge engineers, to water management, they deserve more recognition than they get.Ā Two – All of you great public employees are screwing up a perfectly good dystopian plot line RIGHT NOW.Ā Ā Weāre not supposed to be coming together to overcome a natural disaster and working for the common good!Ā Come on, people.Ā Where is the divisive hatred and the reaching for the shotguns? Thatās it; Iām breaking out the zombies.Ā Bob is going to be dinner if I have to have three plot contrivances before breakfast. Ā Three ā We as society need to invest more in infrastructure.Ā And four ā Because we donāt invest more in infrastructure we all need to have 3 days to 2 weeks of supplies on hand depending on where you live.Ā Be prepared. Donāt let a dystopian novel happen to you.
Writers vs. Readers
/in General WritingWriterās Group: to gather with others to read and critique excerpts of written work
Reading Group: to gather with others to read and critique books, drink and snack
When done correctly, a writerās group can operate as an auxiliary brain or a training ground to push a writer forward in her craft.Ā They can be fun, inspiring and incredibly helpful. They can also be a sucking hole of negativity and wasted time.
With that in mind, it was with some trepidation that I recently tested out a new group. The hostess had a dog (bonus points) and they had established a rule of positivity and compliments before critiques (nice).Ā They had a time keeper and a word count on the segments we read (organized!). Each writer was doing different genres and styles, but that had the benefit of bringing diverse points of view to the table.Ā In general, it was great. It provided very valuable feedback and I can only hope that I was equally helpful to the other writers.
However, in specific, it was wee bit disappointing as there were no beverages or snacks.Ā The reasoning ā that hosting the group was enough trouble and that we were here to do actual serious work, not carouse ā makes total, logical, absolute sense. Ā But in the sense of āitās been a long week, and Bethany wants a potato chip and a glass of somethingā it was less than I had hoped for.
I think, possibly what I was really hoping for was a Reading Group.Ā Every Reading Group Iāve ever attended came with crackers, cheese, and wine ā the three low effort food groups. Now, in defense of the writerās group, very few Reading Groupās Iāve ever attended actually stayed entirely on topic. Ā There was a lot ofā¦ uhā¦ digression, shall we say.Ā And time keeping was absolute disaster.Ā And learning was sort of ancillary by-product of reading a book I didnāt pick out, but gosh darn it, the artichoke dip was fantastic.
So next month?Ā Iāll be packing my own snacks to the writers group.Ā After all, that group comes with a dog.